Video Game Retailers: Smart or Stupid?
Retailers: Smart or Stupid? Episode II
Retailers: Smart or Stupid? Episode III
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If you've read any of the previous features in this series, you know the
drill by now. I call eight different video game retailers on a variety of
days and ask them questions about video games. The list of retailers I
called for Episode IV is the same as the Episode III's list: Babbage's,
Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, KB Toys, Electronics Boutique, and
Best Buy.
Once again, rather than tape-recording these conversations, I did my
best to remember them. However, I couldn't possibly remember every last
word that was said, so what follows below is not a word-for-word transcript,
but a paraphrased account of what was said.
QUESTION #1
This question asks retailers, "What's the next Pokemon game coming out
for the Nintendo 64?" The correct answer is Pokemon Stadium. I also asked
retailers if you'll be able to play with your Game Boy characters in
Pokemon Stadium (you can through the use of the Transfer Pak, which is
bundled with Pokemon Stadium). The phone calls for Question #1 were made
on February 19, just two weeks before Pokemon Stadium's release.
BABBAGE'S
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
Babbage's: Uh, Stadium.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the N64 game?
Babbage's: Um... I don't see how that would work. No.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. He knew about Pokemon Stadium, but not about the
Transfer Pak.
TOYS R US
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
Toys R Us: Pokemon Stadium.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the N64 game?
Toys R Us: I think you are, somehow. I think it has this little pack that
lets you do it.
THE VERDICT: Smart. She knew the answers to both of my questions.
WAL-MART
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
Wal-Mart: I don't know. They don't give us a schedule.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the next N64 game?
Wal-Mart: Um... I don't think so.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Six of the top ten best-selling games in 1999 were
Pokemon games, so you would think that retailers would make it a point to
know something about Pokemon.
K-MART
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
K-Mart: (long pause) Umm... let's see, the last one was Snap, wasn't it?
Ivan: Yeah, I think so.
K-Mart: I don't have a listing for it.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the next N64 game?
K-Mart: I have no way of knowing that yet. I don't know.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. She has no way of knowing? How about reading a video
game magazine or going to a video game web site at any time in the past
year?
TARGET
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
Target: It's Pokemon Stadium.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the N64 game?
Target: I have no idea.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. Like the person at Babbage's, she knew about
Pokemon Stadium, but not about the Transfer Pak.
KB TOYS
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
KB Toys: Mmmm... it looks like Pokemon Stadium.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the N64 game?
KB Toys: I'm not sure about that.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. You would think that a toy store would be flooded
with Pokemon-obsessed seven-year-olds fairly often and would try to learn
these kinds of things.
ELECTRONICS BOUTIQUE
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
Electronics Boutique: I believe it's Pokemon Stadium, to be honest with
you. Let me check to be sure... yeah, it's Pokemon Stadium.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the N64 game?
Electronics Boutique: I believe it comes with an adapter which allows you
to do that. Yeah, it's called the Transfer Pak and that comes with it.
THE VERDICT: Smart. He knew the answers to both of my questions.
BEST BUY
Ivan: What's the next Pokemon game coming out for the Nintendo 64?
Best Buy: Uh, let's see (long pause)... Pokemon Stadium.
Ivan: Do you know if you're going to be able to play with your Game Boy
characters in the N64 game?
Best Buy: Umm.... now that I'm not sure of. It doesn't say anything on the
little paper we got here. You know, the little coupons that you need to
reserve it.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. Like most other people I spoke with, she knew
about the game, but not about the Transfer Pak.
All of the retailers except for good old Wal-Mart and K-Mart were able
to tell me that the next Pokemon game is Pokemon Stadium. However, the
only retailers that also knew about the Transfer Pak were Toys R Us and
Electronics Boutique.
QUESTION #2
This question asks retailers, "What survival horror games do you have
for the PlayStation?" I had a back-up line to use if the retailer had no
idea what I meant by "survival horror game." I told them, "I mean kind of
like Resident Evil, but not Resident Evil" just so that they would know
what I was talking about.
BABBAGE'S
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
Babbage's: All of the Resident Evil series is in stock. Silent Hill is in,
and Fear Effect is also in.
THE VERICT: Smart. Not only did he identify several survival horror games,
but he did so without having to be told what I meant by "survival horror."
TOYS R US
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
Toys R Us: Survival horror?
Ivan: I mean kind of like Resident Evil, but not Resident Evil.
Toys R Us: Uh... we've got Clock Tower 2, Dino Crisis, and Fear Effect.
THE VERDICT: Smart. He didn't know what I meant by survival horror at
first, but he was still able to identify several survival horror games.
WAL-MART
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
Wal-Mart: Survi... What was the name of it?
Ivan: It's not an actual game, it's a kind of game.
Wal-Mart: Okay, what kind?
Ivan: Survival horror.
Wal-Mart: Um... give me an example.
Ivan: Resident Evil is an example. I'm looking for something like Resident
Evil, but not Resident Evil.
Wal-Mart: Okay, just a second. (hold) Looks like we have South Park and
Rainbow Six.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. First he thought that I was asking for a game called
Survival Horror, then he told me that Rainbow Six and South Park are
survival horror games. The only horror in South Park is the horror of
playing such a bad game...
K-MART
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
K-Mart: The what now?!?
Ivan: I mean kind of like Resident Evil, but not Resident Evil.
K-Mart: (pause) Uh... that's hard to... there's a bunch of different games
like that in there similar. I mean, right now there's no way I can just
critique each one and let you know. If you want to come in... You know,
it's just too many to critique if you're looking for something similar to
another game. You know, cuz we have Tomb Raider, Resident Evil 3, there's
Tomb Raider 2, Tomb Raider 3, and they're all similar as far as being maze
games.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This guy said "There's no way I can critique each
one" instead of saying "I don't know." He apparently thinks that Resident
Evil and Tomb Raider are both "maze games," whatever the hell that is.
TARGET
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
Target: (long pause) What type of game?
Ivan: I mean kind of like Resident Evil, but not Resident Evil.
Target: (long pause) Okay, let's see. We have stuff like Rainbow Six,
Medal of Honor, um... and we have... yeah, that's it. That's all we have.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. If I were a customer looking for a game similar to
Resident Evil, I would consider being steered in the wrong direction much
worse than not being steered in any direction at all. Oddly enough, this
is the second retailer to tell me that Rainbow Six is a survival horror
game.
KB TOYS
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
KB Toys: Hang on just a second. (She can be heard asking another employee
my question.) We have Resident Evil 1, 2, and Silent Hill.
THE VERDICT: Smart. Somewhat surprisingly, KB was able to identify several
survival horror games without having to be told what I meant by "survival
horror." The person that answered the phone didn't know, but another
employee in the store did.
ELECTRONICS BOUTIQUE
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
Electronics Boutique: Which ones?
Ivan: I mean kind of like Resident Evil, but not Resident Evil.
Electronics Boutique: Umm... (awkward pause) honestly... let's see...
something called Syphon Filter. Um... (awkward pause) I'm trying to
think... Fear Effect is like that. That just came out, but we don't have
any copies right now. Not a whole lot, really.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. She seemed to have no idea what she was talking
about (and she awkwardly paused a lot), but she still earned a Semi-Smart
rating by identifying Fear Effect as a survival horror game.
BEST BUY
Ivan: What survival horror games do you have for the PlayStation?
Best Buy: Survival?
Ivan: I mean kind of like Resident Evil, but not Resident Evil.
Best Buy: Um... hold on a second. (someone else comes on the phone) Hello?
Ivan: Hi, I was wondering what survival horror games you have for the
PlayStation.
Best Buy: As in Resident Evil?
Ivan: Yeah, kind of like Resident Evil.
Best Buy: Resident Evil is more of an action game.
Ivan: Yeah, survival horror is just what they call it.
Best Buy: Have you tried Dino Crisis?
Ivan: Is that kind of like Resident Evil?
Best Buy: Yeah. Clock Tower is pretty good. And there's another one...
I believe it is Bloody Roar 2. I recommend those.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart. He would have gotten a Smart rating, but he
incorrectly identified Bloody Roar 2 as a survival horror game (it's a
fighting game).
All of the retailers were able to identify at least one survival horror
game except for Wal-Mart, K-Mart, and Target. However, the only retailers
that knew what I meant by "survival horror" without being told were
Babbage's and KB Toys.
QUESTION #3
For this question, I asked retailers what storage format Nintendo's next
video game system uses. If a retailer didn't know what I meant by "storage
format," I gave them a couple examples of storage formats just so they
would know what I was talking about. The correct answer is DVD. In some
conversations, I asked if the retailer knew anything else about the system,
just to see how much they really knew about it.
BABBAGE'S
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
Babbage's: Uh, I have no idea.
Ivan: Okay, well, do you know anything else about the system?
Babbage's: Uh, I know something about the Dolphin. It's going to be DVD-
based. It's going to be really powerful. They're trying to try to make it
as cheap as possible; I know that. But there's not too much information on
it yet.
THE VERDICT: Smart. He gave me the correct answer (DVD), but not before
telling me that he had no idea. I guess he just didn't know what I meant
by "storage format."
TOYS R US
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
Toys R Us: Nintendo. (she just awkwardly said Nintendo in a weird voice
and left it at that)
Ivan: Uh... I mean like cartridge, CD-ROM, or something like that.
Toys R Us: Okay, what particular cartridge you want to know, so I can
check?
Ivan: I wanted to know about Nintendo's next system, like after the
Nintendo 64. I don't know what that one's going to be.
Toys R Us: Uh... okay, we don't know yet. You can try to call tomorrow,
okay?
THE VERDICT: Stupid. It was quite a disturbing moment for me when the
woman on the phone just said "Nintendo" in a weird voice and then said
nothing for about five seconds. I was caught off guard and didn't quite
know what to say. Now I know how people at Wal-Mart and K-Mart feel when
people ask them a question that actually requires a little bit of knowledge
about video games...
WAL-MART
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
Wal-Mart: What is it?
(At this point, I had to fight the urge to recite the Resident Evil
line, "Blood. Hope this is not Chris's blood." This is what I say every
time somebody says the words "What is it?" to me, but I refrained from
saying it here for the sake of the feature. Anyway, on with the
conversation.)
Ivan: I mean like cartridge, CD-ROM, or something like that.
Wal-Mart: For what?
Ivan: For Nintendo's next video game system.
Wal-Mart: Mmm... (long pause) Well, that PlayStation's supposed to come out
in June that's supposed to play DVDs and CD-ROMs and... They wanted to wait
until October for the US, but now they're going to try to move it up to
June, so... but the Nintendo 64, I thought they said they were going to try
CD-ROMs. I mean, you can just uh... (there is an awkward pause, and he
never completes his sentence)
Ivan: Do you know anything else about Nintendo's next system?
Wal-Mart: No, except that they're going to try to out-do Sega Dreamcast and
PlayStation. That's all I know. Because they're going to try to make it
play the old Super Nintendo tapes. It's supposed to play cartridges and
CD-ROMs. They're going to try to keep them old tapes in stock for a while.
Because right now they're discontinued. The Super Nintendo and the
Nintendo... you know, that old Nintendo system. So what they're going to
do is get rid of both of them.
Ivan: So you'll be able to play Super Nintendo games and Nintendo 64 games
on the new system?
Wal-Mart: Yes. They're going to have two slots on the new machine, and
it's going to run over $200. And the PlayStation is supposed to run over
$400.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Not only did he get the question wrong, but he gave
me lots of false information in the process. The PlayStation 2 is coming
out in June for over $400?!? Nintendo's next system is going to use
CD-ROMs and be backwards-compatible with the N64 and SNES?!? Where the
heck does this guy get his information?
K-MART
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
K-Mart: I really don't. No sir.
Ivan: I mean like cartridge, CD-ROM, or something like that.
K-Mart: I hear it's gonna be CD, but other than that I haven't gotten any
information or anything on it.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. At least this guy didn't give me lots of false
information like the guy at Wal-Mart.
TARGET
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
Target: (in a half-laughing tone of voice) I have no idea.
Ivan: I mean like cartridge, CD-ROM, or something like that.
Target: (long pause) I haven't heard anything about a new Nintendo system.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. The half-laughing tone in her voice suggested that
it's absurd for me to ask her such a question. I realize that this
question is hard for the average retailer, but I don't think it's absurdly
hard.
KB TOYS
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
KB Toys: No...? Nintendo's next system?
Ivan: Yeah. I mean like cartridge, CD-ROM, or something like that.
KB Toys: (with a bit of attitude in her voice) We have no information on a
new system from Nintendo, okay?
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Drop the attitude, missy!
ELECTRONICS BOUTIQUE
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
Electronics Boutique: It's going to be some form of DVD-ROM.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system?
Electronics Boutique: There's not a whole lot in the way of official
information on that, but they're going to be make some announcements later
this year to try to steal the PlayStation 2's thunder. I don't think the
Dolphin will be released this year, but I do know that there's a lot more
work being done on it than we're being made aware of. It's kind of gonna
to be like in Return of the Jedi. You know, "That thing's operational."
THE VERDICT: Smart. He told me that the Dolphin uses DVD, and he did it
without having to be told what I meant by "storage format." Bonus points
for the Star Wars analogy.
BEST BUY
Ivan: Do you know what storage format Nintendo's next system is going to
use?
Best Buy: The next Nintendo system?
Ivan: Yes.
Best Buy: It's called Dolphin, but they really haven't released the specs
on it as far as how good it's going to be, or whether it's going to be
better than the PlayStation 2 or not.
Ivan: I mean like whether it's going to use cartridges, CD-ROMs, or
something like that.
Best Buy: Oh, I think that they are going to do CD-ROMs because cartridges
are just too hard to keep up with the bits. They're still working on it,
trying to figure out what's the best.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. He told me that they're using CDs (not DVD), and he
also said that Nintendo hasn't come up a final decision on the matter. In
fact, they announced the DVD format months ago.
Babbage's and Electronics Boutique were the only two retailers to get
this question right, which isn't surprising since it's harder than the
first two questions. Electronics Boutique was the only retailer that
immediately knew what I meant by "storage format."
In the end, only three retailers got more Smart ratings than Stupid
ratings: Babbage's, Electronics Boutique, and Toys R Us. Babbage's and EB
didn't get any Stupid ratings, and Toys R Us only got one. KB Toys
finished squarely in the middle of the pack with one of each rating (Smart,
Stupid, and Semi-Smart). Best Buy and Target never got any Smart ratings,
but at least they got a few Semi-Smarts. Predictably, Wal-Mart and K-Mart
got Stupid ratings for every single question. If there is one thing you
can count on in life, it's Wal-Mart and K-Mart always getting Stupid
ratings...
Send your thoughts on this feature to ivan@mastergamer.com
Video Game Retailers: Smart or Stupid?
Retailers: Smart or Stupid? Episode II
Retailers: Smart or Stupid? Episode III
Back To Special Features
© 2001 ivan@mastergamer.com