Video game retailers do a lot more than just stand behind a sales counter and accept payment for whatever you bring them. If a sales clerk is doing his job, he can give the customers insights into the quality (or lack thereof) the products they are thinking about buying. He can lead the customer in the right direction and away from the big "Deer Hunter 2" display. He can give the customer advice and ultimately play a large role in the customer's purchasing decisions. But all too often, he's just some dummy who doesn't know the first thing about video games and is likely to tell you to buy Rosco McQueen: Firefighter Extreme instead of Zelda 64. In order to test the knowledge of video game retailers (and to find out which ones are smarter than others), I called a variety of retailers at a variety of days and times pretending to be the stereotypical customer who doesn't know too much and needs guidance to make a purchasing decision. I tried to ask fairly easy questions in order to test the basic knowledge of the retailers. Some of the results were surprising, some of them weren't. The eight retailers I called were Babbage's, Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, KB Toys, Circuit City, and Sears. These are mostly "mainstream" retailers, but that's no excuse for the general lack of basic knowledge that I encountered all too often. Rather than tape-recording these conversations, I tried my best to remember them. However, I couldn't possibly remember every last word that was said, so what follows below is not a word-for-word transcript, but a paraphrased account of what was said. QUESTION #1 (of 3) First of all, I asked a basic question about which shooter I should buy for my PC. Keep in mind that I wanted to sound like a typical uneducated customer who is completely dependent upon the retailer for gaming advice. Ivan: Hi. I'm thinking about buying a shooting game for my computer and I don't know which one to get. Now, I've heard of the Deer Hunter, I've heard of another game called Half-Life, and I've also heard of Jurassic Park: Trespassing or something like that. Which shooting game do you think I should get? Babbage's: First-person shooters are a very popular genre, sir. It really depends on what you're looking for. If you're looking for a more traditional first-person shooter, Half-Life is the game to get. It won Game of the Year last year. If you're looking for a game with more real- world physics and going around adventuring, Trespasser is pretty good for that. Really though, there are so many choices that I would recommend you come down to the store so I could show you some of our other selections (smooth). There are a lot of choices, but I would personally recommend either Half-Life, Unreal, or Aliens vs. Predator. THE VERDICT: Smart. This person knew the difference between first-person shooters and hunting games, and he was smart enough to lead me in the direction of the first-person shooters instead of the hunting games. Toys R US: The only one out of those three that we carry is the Deer Hunter. Ivan: Would you be able to tell me personally which shooting game you think is the best? Toys R Us: Well, my sister's friend has one of them and he really likes it, so... (she giggles, and never completes her sentence). All we have is the Deer Hunter. We also have a Bear Hunter and a Moose Hunter and I think Elk Hunter and... something else, I'm trying to think what the other one is... Ivan: A fishing game? Toys R Us: Yeah, we also have a fishing game. THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person knew absolutely nothing other than the fact that they carry a lot of hunting games. Wal-Mart: Okay, hold on... (after a four-minute wait) The only hunting games we have are Big Game Hunter and Big Game Hunter 2. We don't have the Jurassic Park game. Ivan: Do you know if Big Game Hunter is supposed to be really good? Wal-Mart: Yeah, it's very realistic. Ivan: So what shooting game do you think I should buy? Wal-Mart: Um... (awkward pause), Big Game Hunter 2 looks like the best one. THE VERDICT: Stupid. I asked about first-person shooters and hunting games, and this person only told me about the hunting games. He couldn't even tell me anything about the games they did carry, Big Game Hunter 1 and 2. K-Mart: We have so many of them that your best bet would be to just come down to the store and look at all the games yourself. I know we have Deer Hunter, and that seems to be pretty popular with the customers in general. I'm also pretty sure that we have one of the other games you mentioned, too, but there are so many options and choices that I couldn't just say, "Buy this one." You should come in and take a look and decide which one looks best to you and then buy that one. Ivan: Do you have any personal favorites that you could recommend, just a shooting game that you really like that you think I might like, too? K-Mart: I don't play hunting games myself, I like to play Civil War games more. We also have a Civil War game if you're interested in that, but as far as the hunting games go, just come in and you'll see that we have a lot of different ones to offer. THE VERDICT: Stupid. Of course they have a lot of shootings games, that doesn't mean he couldn't recommend a few to me if he knew anything about them. It sounds almost credible in writing that he really thought there were too many for him to recommend some, but the tone of his voice during the conversation suggested that he was really just covering for his lack of knowledge on the subject. Target: Well, it really depends on whether you like hunting or not. Ivan: I'm not against it one way or the other. Just as long as the game is good. Target: Well, I know Trespasser is a good game, and we also have a bunch of wildlife hunting games like bears and sharks and stuff like that. Ivan: Which one do you think I should get? Which one would you recommend that's the highest-quality? Target: Um... (awkward silence), probably just the Deer Hunter one. It looks pretty real, to tell you the truth. THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person didn't even acknowledge Half-Life and instead told me about crappy hunting games. KB Toys: I'm not really good with the computer games. I know we sell a lot of Deer Hunters. Those are supposed to be really good, but I'm not really good with those games and I don't know about any other ones. Do you want to talk to the manager? Maybe you can see what she thinks. (after a minute and a half wait, the manager comes on the phone) All that I can tell you is that we sell a lot of Deer Hunters. A lot. I'm not really well-versed with the computer games, and nobody on staff tonight is either, but if you call Babbage's I'm sure they'll be able to give you some advice. All I know is that we sell a lot of Deer Hunters and we don't get any back. Ivan: So people seem to be pleased with it after they buy it? KB Toys: Yes. THE VERDICT: Stupid. Both of the people I spoke with based their recommendation merely on sales, not any personal knowledge on quality (by that logic, they would recommend Myst over Quake 2). At least they had the decency to tell me that they don't know much about computer games and recommended that I call Babbage's instead of egging me on like many of the other stores. Circuit City: Half-Life, definitely Half-Life. It won Best Game of 1998. Ivan: So Half-Life is supposed to be much better than all the other shooting games? Circuit City: Yeah, it is. Ivan: So, Deer Hunter's not really as good as Half-Life then? Circuit City: Deer Hunter's lame! (I hear laughter in the background, presumably from another employee. The guy on the phone with me tells the laughing person, "It is!" and then comes back to me.) Redneck Deer Hunter is a blast, but Deer Hunter is lame. You should definitely get Half-Life. THE VERDICT: Smart. This person knew that Half-Life is the real deal, and he was the first one to tell me that "Deer Hunter is lame." He lost a little credibility when he told me that "Redneck Deer Hunter is a blast," but maybe he just likes redneck humor... Sears: We don't sell computer games. (awkward silence) Sorry. THE VERDICT: I guess I can't call this person stupid, but come on! Who doesn't sell PC games anymore? In the end, only Babbage's and Circuit City seemed to know what they were talking about. And you wonder why lots of people buy crappy games like Deer Hunter. It's because they don't know any better, and usually there is no educated retailer there to steer them in the right direction. Now it's on to Question #2. QUESTION #2 For this question, I wanted to test the retailers' basic knowledge of a major upcoming product. Ivan: Hi. What information do you have on the Sega Dreamcast? Babbage's: Well, we have a lot. Ivan: I mean like what games are coming out for it and is it supposed to be a really good system? Babbage's: Yeah, it is; it's really cool. I played it myself when we had the Japanese system in the store a few weeks ago. It's really small. I could read you a list of games for it if you want. My favorite game was actually the fishing game, I'm afraid to admit. Ivan: Is that Get Bass? Babbage's: Yeah, Get Bass. It has the force feedback fishing rod and it's really cool. If you come down to the store, I'm sure we could tell you a lot more about the system. I know that my boss knows every little thing there is to know about it, but he's a little busy right now. But yeah, it's a really cool system. Ivan: Is the Dreamcast more powerful than the PlayStation and Nintendo 64? Babbage's: Yes sir, it definitely is. The Dreamcast is a 128-bit system with a 12x CD-ROM drive and 26MB of RAM. The PlayStation is a 32-bit system with 4MB of RAM and a 2x CD-ROM drive. Ivan: Is it also more powerful than the N64? Babbage's: Yes, it is. The 64 is only a 64-bit system with 8MB of RAM, if you add the Expansion Pak. We have a lot of documentation of the Dreamcast in the store, including some video footage, and I'd be happy to show you everything if you came down to the store. THE VERDICT: Smart. Once again, Babbage's proves that it knows its shi... uh, business. This person not only had hands-on experience with numerous Dreamcast games, but he could read the specs and compare it with other systems quickly and off the top of his head. Toys R Us: What do you want to know? Like when it's coming out? Ivan: Well, that and what games are coming out for it and if it's supposed to be a really good system. Toys R Us: There's like 30 different games. Ivan: So it's supposed to be a really good system? Toys R Us: They say it is. I have a piece of paper. Hold on. (20-second pause) Has a 3D processor, four times faster than a Pentium 2 for processing graphics, has a sound processor (I would certainly hope so), comes out September 9, '99, with about 30 games. They're on pre-sale now. Ivan: Is it more powerful than the PlayStation and Nintendo 64? Toys R Us: Oh yeah. I haven't seen it myself, you know what I mean? I haven't seen the actual machine, but based on what we're being told it's going to be much more powerful. They say it's the gamer's system, so it must be good. THE VERDICT: Semi-Stupid. This person knew nothing about the system other than what it is, and what she did tell me she was reading off a piece of paper. Wal-Mart: The what? Ivan: It's a new system coming out from Sega. I don't know much about it. Wal-Mart: I don't have any information on that. I'm not the manager. I don't think he knows anything about it either. Have you tried calling other electronics stores? Ivan: I guess I will now. THE VERDICT: Stupid. She didn't even know what the Dreamcast is. K-Mart: On which one? Ivan: It's a new system coming out from Sega. I don't know much about it. I was hoping you would. K-Mart: I don't know anything about that. I don't keep up on that. Personally, I'm a big Sony PlayStation myself, but I don't really know much about the other one. THE VERDICT: Stupid. Not only did he not know what the Dreamcast is, but by not completing his sentence with the word "fan," he told me that he's "a big Sony PlayStation." I didn't know PlayStations could talk... Boy, this is a long feature, isn't it? To break things up a bit, I have split it up into two different pages. Click here for Part 2, which includes the rest of the Dreamcast questions and answers, plus retailers who don't what RPGs are, a woman at K-Mart going insane and telling me about everything except what I asked her, and a KB Toys employee trying to get rid of me in a not-so-creative way...
© 2001 ivan@mastergamer.com