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The reader response to Master Gamer's feature Video Game Retailers:
Smart Or Stupid? has been (and continues to be) so overwhelmingly positive
that I've decided to a sequel of sorts. I called all the same retailers as
last time with three new questions in order to test their basic knowledge
of video games (which is non-existent at a lot of retailers).
Once again, rather than tape-recording these conversations, I tried my
best to remember them. However, I couldn't possibly remember every last
word that was said, so what follows below is not a word-for-word transcript,
but a paraphrased account of what was said. Without further ado, let's
kick things off with Question #1.
QUESTION #1
I wanted to start out with a fairly basic question: When is the
PlayStation 2 going to be released? I also asked some follow-up questions
about how much the system will cost and whether or not the retailer knows
anything else about the system.
Babbage's: Probably about a year from September.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system?
Babbage's: That it's backwards-compatible and that it has a different
storage medium than the Dreamcast. And I've seen some game demos, but I
haven't seen anything concrete.
Ivan: What's the different storage format?
Babbage's: Oh, they use DVDs. Dreamcast uses GD-ROMs, which are... DVDs
are much larger. Well, they're both large, DVDs are larger.
Ivan: Do you know how much it's going to cost?
Babbage's: The rough estimates are between $200 and $400, but to be honest,
it will probably be around $300.
THE VERDICT: Smart. As is usually the case with Babbage's, the person I
spoke with knew exactly what he was talking about and told me all I needed
to know.
Toys R Us: February of 2000.
Ivan: Is that in Japan or in the US or where?
Toys R Us: In the US, it should be here February of next year.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system?
Toys R Us: I just know that the old games will fit in it...will work on it.
Ivan: Do you know how much it's going to cost?
Toys R Us: No... I'm guessing probably around $199.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. I don't know she got the idea that the system will be
released in the US this coming February.
Wal-Mart (after six rings): What's the name again?
Ivan: The PlayStation 2. It's the next video game system from Sony.
Wal-Mart: I'm thinkin' about 17 of this month.
Ivan: When it's going to be?
Wal-Mart: The 17th. Next week.
Ivan: Do you know much it's going to cost?
Wal-Mart: Uh, no, I don't know that yet.
Ivan: Do you happen to know anything else about the system?
Wal-Mart: No, we don't have anything like that. I think when it comes, we
gonna know how much it's gonna cost.
Ivan: Uh... (holding back laughter), that's a whole new system you're
getting from Sony next week, right?
Wal-Mart: Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Anyway, the one we have
right now is 117 dolla.
Ivan: Okay.
Wal-Mart: 117 dolla.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Unless Wal-Mart is really getting the PlayStation 2
in next week (yeah right), this guy had no idea what he was talking about.
At first I thought that he could just be a little confused as to what I was
asking, but I asked the question again and he still seemed very sure of
what he was saying. People like this just go to show you that Wal-Mart's
hiring policy is practically, "If they're breathing, hire them!"
K-Mart (after a ten-minute hold): I have no idea. They didn't give me a
date on it.
Ivan: Do you know a year or season or anything?
K-Mart: I do not know.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system?
K-Mart: No, we haven't gotten any information on it for our store yet.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person knew absolutely nothing about the
PlayStation 2. If she had looked at a video game magazine or web site in
the past six months, she would at least know something about the system
that she could tell customers who ask about it.
Target: Sony PlayStation 2?
Ivan: Yes.
Target: Umm... I'm not really sure of the date, but I heard it's before
Christmas.
Ivan: You mean this year?
Target: Yeah, yeah, this year.
Ivan: Do you know how much that's going to cost?
Target: Actually, no. We haven't gotten any of the papers on it yet or
anything.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about it off-hand?
Target: Um... somebody said you can use the old discs on it, too. You know,
the PlayStation right now? So it's compatible with the old discs.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Not quite as stupid as the guy at Wal-Mart who said
they're getting the system next week, but stupid nonetheless.
KB Toys: Um... one second. (hold) Do you mean the Sony PlayStation Dual
Shock? (We all know how easy it is to mistake the words "PlayStation 2"
for the words "Sony PlayStation Dual Shock"...)
Ivan: No, there's a new system coming out from Sony called the PlayStation
2.
KB Toys: Let me go check with my manager. I don't even know... the only
thing I know that's coming out is the Sega Dreamcast, but let me check with
her and see if she knows. (hold) She said not at least for another year.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system like how much it's going
to cost or just anything else about it?
KB Toys: No, we won't know anything until closer to the time for it to come
out.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person knew nothing about the system herself,
and what little she could tell me was only because she asked her manager.
Circuit City: Circuit City, may I help you?
Ivan: Can you direct me to the video game department?
Circuit City: Uh... we don't have video games. What are you looking for?
Ivan: I thought you had PlayStation games.
Circuit City: Okay, hold on. (ring) Thank you for calling Circuit City,
how may I direct your call?
Ivan: Is this the video game department?
Circuit City: No. Can you hold on? (ring) Video, how may I help you?
Ivan: Is this the video game department?
Circuit City: Not the video game, it's the video section. One second. Ask
them to send you to the music section. (ring) Thank you for calling
Circuit City, how may I direct your call?
Ivan: In what department do you sell video games? Someone just told me to
ask for the music department.
Circuit City: Video games, as in... (awkward pause) We sell PlayStation
games. Is that what you're looking for?
Ivan: Yes.
Circuit City: Okay, hold on one second. (ring) Circuit City music, how
can I help you?
Ivan: Is this the video game department?
Circuit City: Uh, yes it is.
Sweet Mayor Marion Barry! What the hell kind of store is so
inefficiently run that a customer has to talk to six people before he
finally gets to the bloody video game department? And why did I have to
ask for "music" to get to the video game department? Do you have to ask
for "camcorders" to get the computer department? Anyway, let's get on with
the conversation:
Circuit City: The Sony PlayStation 2 is projected for launch in fall of
2000, but anything could happen in a year (implying it could be delayed).
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system?
Circuit City: The system itself is supposed to be 300 megahertz, something
like 700 polygons per second, which is before shading and lighting,
compared to the Dreamcast's three million. It's completely backwards-
compatible with all of PlayStation 1's games... so if you have a game
that's here now like Driver or something, it will work on the PlayStation
2.
Ivan: How many polygons per second can the PlayStation 2 display? (seeing
if he would correct his previous error that it could display 700 polygons
per second)
Circuit City: The PlayStation 2 can display 70 million per second, while
the Dreamcast has three million. I think the current PlayStation does
something like 200,000 per second right now.
Ivan: How much will it cost?
Circuit City: That's another thing... people have no idea. The PlayStation
2... the next big thing in gaming is DVD. Nintendo's new system, which is
also supposed to come out winter of 2000, they announced that it will be
playing DVD movies on the system right out of the box. The PlayStation 2,
from what I understand, it will not play DVD movies right out of the box.
It will need an attachment or something. Right now... I'm thinking it's
going to be at least $400. The PlayStation, when it first came out on the
market, it was $600 and it came out alongside the Saturn, and each of the
systems were $600, but now we have the PlayStation at $129.99. So I mean,
anything can happen.
THE VERDICT: Semi Stupid. He wasn't completely clueless like some of the
other retailers I talked to, but a few glaring factual errors shattered his
credibility. First of all, he told me that Nintendo said Project Dolphin
will be able to play DVD movies out of the box, when in fact they said it
won't be able to play DVD movies out of the box unless you buy the more
expensive Panasonic version. He told me that the PlayStation 2 will not be
able to play DVD movies out of the box, when in fact Sony has not yet
revealed whether or not it will be able to. His most embarrassing mistake
was telling me that the PlayStation and Saturn launched at $600, when in
fact the Saturn launched at $400 and the PlayStation launched at $300.
Sears: I do not know. We have not gotten any mailings about that yet.
Ivan: Do you know anything else about the system off-hand?
Sears: No, I really do not, and the guy who knows a lot about it just left.
You could try Babbage's in the mall.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person knew nothing about the system, and "the
guy who knows a lot" always seems to have just left when I call Sears...
The only retailer I spoke with who really knew a lot about the
PlayStation 2 was Babbage's. I would say "one out of eight ain't bad," but
it is bad...
QUESTION #2
For this question, I asked retailers, "What real-time strategy games do
you have for the PC?" This is similar to the question I asked last time
about what RPGs they have for the PlayStation, only it should be easier
since "real-time strategy game" is a lot more self-explanatory than "RPG."
I also asked which RTSs they would recommend, and if any big ones are
coming out soon (the obvious answer is "Yes, Command & Conquer: Tiberian
Sun is").
Babbage's: For the PC, we have, actually, quite a lot. Well, the new stuff
that's out... we have Rainbow Six (Gold Pack Bundle) and Jagged Alliance 2.
Ivan: Which ones would you recommend?
Babbage's: I haven't honestly played any of them myself, so I don't have a
personal opinion of any of them. Jagged Alliance 2, there have been a lot
of people that have picked it up, there have been a lot of people that have
said it's very good.
Ivan: Have you read any reviews on any of them or heard what the press is
saying?
Babbage's: Well, for the most part, I've heard that they're both very good.
I mean, it all depends what you're looking for. Rainbow Six is more of a
first-person shooter while you're in control of an awful lot of other
people. It's strategy, but probably a little more of the action side.
Whereas Jagged Alliance 2, while it also has a lot of action, you can put
more effort into the strategy of building a team.
Ivan: Are there any other big real-time strategy games coming out soon?
Babbage's: Well, it all depends on what exactly you qualify as real-time
strategy. If would qualify the Diablo series, that sort of thing, as real-
time strategy, and we also have DarkStone.
Ivan: I mean like a war game.
Babbage's: Let's see, Hidden & Dangerous I believe is pretty good. There
have been people that have come in and gotten that. None of them have come
back at the moment yet, so I haven't been able to talk to them and ask them
how it was, but it's definitely a war game. Let me get the box and look at
it right now. Let's see... 1941 as the time-frame, third-person views,
World War II missions and vehicles.
THE VERDICT: Smart. A little less smart than average for Babbage's, but
still a lot smarter than most other retailers I've spoken with.
Toys R Us (after a five-minute hold): Real-time... strategy... for the PC.
Okay. I'll look for you. (three and a half minute hold) Okay. I'm not
real good at this, so I don't know what I'm looking for here! (obnoxious
laugh) Is it called Real Time Strategy, or...?
Ivan: That's a kind of game. It's a war game where you go around, you
build up your forces, you have to manage resources and build up an army.
Toys R Us: Okay, it's a war game... all right, that gives me a little bit
of help. Hold on... (one and a half minute hold). Okay. Ehhh... I'm not
sure if I got this right, but... is like Command & Conquer?
Ivan: Yeah, I think that's a real-time strategy game.
Toys R Us: So that includes Command & Conquer: The Covert Operations.
Umm... I don't know if this would be one... Armored... Armored Fist 2? And
we have The Art of War.
Ivan: Which ones would you recommend personally?
Toys R Us: Probably the Command & Conquer. We also have The Commandos...
Ivan: Do you know of any big real-time strategy games that are coming out
soon?
Toys R Us: Ummm... no. I... no idea. (laughter)
THE VERDICT: Semi Stupid. She didn't know anything about real-time strategy
games, but at least she was able to identify a few war games for me.
Wal-Mart: Real time strategy?
Ivan: Yes.
Wal-Mart: I haven't seen it. (as if he thinks it's a game called Real Time
Strategy) Let me look. Hold on. (hold) No I don't.
Ivan: You don't have any real-time strategy games?
Wal-Mart: No, I don't. I don't have any right now.
Ivan: Do you know of any that you'd personally recommend?
Wal-Mart: No, not really.
Ivan: Do you know of any big real-time strategy games that are coming out
sometime in the near future?
Wal-Mart: Uh, I don't have any lists on anything. No I don't. Right now,
everything is pretty much scrambled around because we're re-doing the
department and everything's not in its order and in its place, so there's
no way to tell exactly what I've got.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person had no idea what a real-time strategy
game is, and he actually thought I was referring to a game called Real Time
Strategy. The fact that they're "re-doing the department" is no excuse for
not knowing what a real-time strategy game is.
K-Mart: Real time strategy?
Ivan: Yes.
K-Mart: That I'll have to check to see if we even carry it. Hold on a
minute. (two-minute hold) Uh, we've got one that's an Interplay. We
don't any that say Interactive on it. We don't have that company. (?)
Ivan: Real-time strategy is a game where you go around managing resources
and building up an army and that kind of thing. You don't have any like
that?
K-Mart: No, we don't have anything like that.
Ivan: Do you know off-hand which ones you'd recommend?
K-Mart: Um, have you tried the Sim City?
Ivan: Yeah, the old one, but not the new one.
K-Mart: Oh. They got one out now, I think it's Sim City 2000, but we don't
have it. Check Babbage's.
Ivan: Are there any big real-time strategy games coming out soon?
K-Mart: Uh, they don't tell us. We're not informed. Try Babbage's, though.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. He thought there was a game called Real Time Strategy,
he was apparently looking for a game from a company called Interactive, and
he told me that Sim City 2000 is a new real-time strategy game.
Target: What kind of titles you want? I don't know what every type of
software is listed as. We don't break them down like that.
Ivan: A real-time strategy game is where you go around managing resources
and building up an army and that kind of thing.
Target: Like the Sim Centers and the WarCraft and the other... sort of the
ones like that?
Ivan: Yeah, I think WarCraft is a real-time strategy game.
Target: Hmm, let me go see what kinds we have over there. One minute.
(brief hold) Besides the WarCraft, there's the StarCraft I think it is.
Kingdoms (awkward pause as he's talking to somebody else)... the Kingdoms
one.
Ivan: Which ones would you recommend?
Target: He was up for that one (Kingdoms).
Ivan: Are there any big real-time strategy games coming out soon?
Target: Not that I know of.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person knew nothing for himself and relied on
somebody else in the store to tell him what to say.
KB Toys: Umm... for computer software?
Ivan: Yes.
KB Toys: And what is it that you're looking for?
Ivan: I'm looking for different real-time strategy games.
KB Toys: We have a variety of stuff. You almost need to come in and take a
look at them.
Ivan: Are there any you'd recommend?
KB Toys: I haven't tried any of them. I really don't know.
Ivan: Are there any big real-time strategy games coming out soon that you
know of?
KB Toys: No, I don't know what we'll be getting in.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. "You almost need to come in and take a look at them"
was this person's way of saying, "Come look for yourself because I have no
idea."
Circuit City: Umm, hold on one second. (brief hold) We have Age of
Empires, and we used to have StarCraft, but I guess we sold out or
something.
Ivan: Which real-time strategy games would you recommend?
Circuit City: Um, well, StarCraft I think is really, really good and I
would recommend that one. I haven't played Age of Empires yet, but that's
the only one we carry. I'd look for StarCraft first because that game is
really good.
Ivan: Are there any big real-time strategy games coming out soon?
Circuit City: Um... uh... not that I know of.
THE VERDICT: Smart. Even though they didn't have StarCraft in stock, this
person strongly recommended it, and the tone of his voice suggested that he
was speaking from experience when he said that it's really good.
Sears: Sears kids, how may I help you?
Ivan: Is this the video game department?
Sears: Yes.
Ivan: Okay, what real-time strategy games do you have for the PC?
Sears: (there is a good five-second pause before she speaks) For the what?
Ivan: For the PC, personal computer.
Sears: Oh, I'm sorry. (chuckles) Um... we actually don't, we only have
like PlayStation games.
Ivan: (not letting her off the hook) Oh, well I have a PlayStation, too,
so what real-time strategy games do you have for the PlayStation?
Sears: Umm... (awkward pause) I'm not sure. Hold on. (brief hold) Hold
on, let me go check. (two-minute hold) Okay, I'm going to read off to you
the ones that we have. Hopefully my phone stretches this far. Okay... we
have... Legend of Legaia (pronounced as LE-GAY-UH by her). I guess that's
how you pronounce it. I'm not sure. Um... (awkward pause) and we have
this one called Shadow Madness. Um... (awkward pause) okay, there's one
called Golden Nugget. And... (awkward pause) there's this one... it's
called Brave...
Ivan: What's it called?
Sears: Brave... Fencer... Mew... she... Musashi or something. It's
M-U-S-A-S-H-I. Um... (awkward pause) Tobal No. 1. And that's about all I
really know.
Ivan: And those are all real-time strategy games?
Sears: Yes.
Ivan: Which real-time strategy games would you recommend?
Sears: Me? (Who else would I be talking to?)
Ivan: Yeah.
Sears: That Mew-sashi game. I've played that. And... (awkward pause)
Legend of Le-gay-uh. Those are the two that I'd recommend.
Ivan: Do you know of any big real-time strategy games coming out in the
future?
Sears: No I don't.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. This person had no idea what a real-time strategy
game is, and she seemed to be picking games off the shelf at random that
somehow looked like real-time strategy games to her.
Babbage's and Circuit City were the only retailers who earned "Smart"
verdicts on Question #2. I've been trying to make the questions easy to
give the retailers a greater chance of getting them right, but they're still
getting them wrong. If you thought Questions 1 and 2 were pretty basic,
take a look at Question #3.
QUESTION #3
This is a very straightforward two-in-one question, with two very easy
questions about the PlayStation memory card. I asked retailers how many
blocks of memory are on one card (15) and how many you can have inside of
the PlayStation at once (two).
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
Babbage's: Fifteen.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
Babbage's: You know the front of the PlayStation has two slots above the
control pad?
Ivan: There's two there. Is there anywhere else you can put it?
Babbage's: No, only the front. But you can put in memory cards and then
take them back out, so you can have like four or five different memory
cards and switch them.
THE VERDICT: Smart. It was pretty much a given that the people at Babbage's
would get this question right, and they did.
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
Toys R Us: (awkward silence) Uhhhhhh... (it was really an extended "uh")
Three blocks.
Ivan: And that's on the official one from Sony?
Toys R Us: Right.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
Toys R Us: I think it's just one. Yeah, we sell the off brand that has 123
blocks of memory for $9.99.
Ivan: No, I mean how many can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
Toys R Us: Just one, I do believe.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. You have to be pretty stupid to get this question
wrong, but leave it to Toys R Us to do just that.
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
Wal-Mart: Uh, three, I believe.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
Wal-Mart: That I don't know.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Three memory card blocks on one PlayStation memory
card?!? Anyone who has ever played a PlayStation game can tell you that it
has 15 blocks, and if you've never played a PlayStation game, what the heck
are you doing selling video games? I'm starting to believe that Wal-Mart
would hire a malnourished, one-legged goat if it could stand upright and
fill out an application...
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
K-Mart: I'm not sure. Not sure.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
K-Mart: You can only put one in at a time.
Ivan: There's only one slot to put it in?
K-Mart: Yup.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. All right, now this is just getting pathetic. After
being shocked to find out just how stupid most retailers are, I chose this
question thinking "There's no way they can get this one wrong!" And sure
enough, they're still getting it wrong.
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
Target: I believe seven.
Ivan: (fighting off a strong urge to yell, "No, dammit! It's 15!) How many
memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
Target: At once? Like to save?
Ivan: I mean how many slots are there to put a memory card into the
PlayStation?
Target: You can only put one in per controller.
Ivan: So two total, then?
Target: Yeah.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Oh God, the humanity! How can so many different
retailers get this question wrong?
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
KB Toys: (apparently to another person) How many blocks of memory are on
each one of those cards? (now to me) Fifteen.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
KB Toys: I have no idea. Can you hold on a sec? (brief hold, during which
I can hear the woman loudly telling somebody else to come here) Two.
THE VERDICT: Semi Smart. The person I actually spoke with on the phone
didn't know the answers, but at least there was another employee in the
store who did. At this point, I'm willing to settle for that.
Circuit City: Circuit City music, how may I help you?
Ivan: Is this the video game department?
Circuit City: Yes.
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
Circuit City: It depends on how much you want.
Ivan: Just the basic one from Sony.
Circuit City: The only we have made by Sony has three blocks of memory for
$14.99.
Ivan: How many blocks of memory?
Circuit City: Only three. But we do have one from a different brand that
has 15 for $9.99.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside the PlayStation at once?
Circuit City: You can have two, but you can only use... you can only access
one at a time, but it has two memory card slots.
THE VERDICT: Stupid. Sweet Joseph, husband of Mary but not father of sweet
Jesus! This is the third retailer to tell me that there are three blocks
of memory on a PlayStation memory card.
Ivan: How many blocks of memory are on one PlayStation memory card?
Sears: Fifteen.
Ivan: How many memory cards can you have inside of the PlayStation at once?
Sears: Two. There's two slots; you can have one in each slot.
THE VERDICT: Smart. Unlike most retailers, the person I spoke with at
Sears knew the answers to these basic questions.
You don't have to be really smart to get this question right, yet the
only retailers who did were Babbage's, KB Toys, and Sears.
Based on the retailers' answers to all three questions, Babbage's was
the only one of the eight retailers to really display a competent level of
knowledge. Circuit City and Sears were dumb, Toys R Us and KB Toys were
dumber, and the dumbest retailers of all were Target, Wal-Mart, and K-Mart.
Combining the results of both the original feature and Episode II,
Babbage's has yet to get a question wrong, and both Wal-Mart and K-Mart
have yet to get a question right. So if you're ever in need of a retailer
who knows something about video games, go to Babbage's and never go within a
15-foot radius of Wal-Mart's video game section or K-Mart's video game
section.
Send your thoughts on this feature to ivan@mastergamer.com
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© 2001 ivan@mastergamer.com