Seaman Review

For Dreamcast

Rating: Average
   My initial experience with this game was one of wonder and amazement, 
but I slowly grew to hate it more and more as time went on.  The urge to 
jump out of my chair and press the power button while playing Seaman was 
almost as strong as the urge to make semen jokes in this review (an urge 
that I have managed to suppress for now).
   Seaman isn't as much of a video game as it is a life simulation.  You're 
the owner of a bunch of virtual pets called Seamen, which have fish-like 
bodies, human faces, and worm-like tentacles coming out of their heads.  
The concept behind Seaman is a unique one that could have resulted in a 
great game, but the execution of the whole idea falls a bit short.
   The first 15 minutes of gameplay are thoroughly disturbing, but in a 
good sort of way.  I'm not going to say what happens because that would 
spoil it for everyone, but I will say that it teaches you about life, 
death, and what kind of game Seaman really is.  After you've already played 
through the first "phase" of the game, it's fun to start over and show your 
friends the beginning, playing dumb all the while as you pretend that you 
have no idea what's going to happen.
   Unfortunately, it all goes downhill from here.  The voice recognition 
technology behind Seaman is nowhere near the level it should have reached 
before release.  Speaking into the included microphone peripheral can be a 
very frustrating experience because it's such a struggle every step of the 
way.  It's a struggle to get and keep the attention of the Seamen in the 
first place by tapping on the glass, and it's a struggle to find a word or 
phrase that the Seamen actually understand.  Even when you're saying words 
that you know are in the Seamen's vocabulary, you will often have to repeat 
yourself several times before they hear you.  
   I have mixed feelings about the graphics.  The Seamen look like tiny 
little dots from the default camera angle.  Zooming in the camera reveals 
impressive polygonal graphics, but this only allows you to focus on one 
particular Seaman.  As for the sound, most of it is just faint aquatic 
noises in the background.  Leonard Nimoy serves as the narrator and does a 
good job with his voice acting, but he isn't as helpful as he probably 
should be.  Instead, he simply states basic facts and gives you common-
sense suggestions.
   Seaman's biggest problem is that for the bulk of the game, there is 
nothing new happening.  It doesn't take long for you to get tired of 
watching the Seamen swim around their tank repetitively, as you wait 
endlessly for something to happen.  It's fun when something happens (like 
the creatures moving on to the next stage of their evolution), but these 
events are spread way too far apart.  Most of the game is like watching 
paint dry.     
   I have to give Seaman credit for one thing: It will draw some kind of 
emotional reaction out of you.  The question is whether that reaction will 
be one of attachment and love, or one of hatred that grows as time passes.  
In my case, it was the latter.  I still don't think that Seaman deserves a 
Crappy rating because there is a lot of game here.  I'm just not willing to 
sit through hours upon hours of nothingness in order to experience it.

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