Duke Nukem 64 Review

For Nintendo 64

Rating: Average
  Duke Nukem 64's biggest flaws stem from the fact that it's on a cartridge
and it had to be approved by Nintendo.  Nintendo censored the game big-time,
taking out the strippers and lewd voice-overs of the original game.  This 
really changes the game since Duke Nukem became so popular in the first 
place because it had such an attitude and broke all the rules.  But even if
it were uncensored, the N64 version of Duke just can't stack up to the 
surprisingly superior Saturn version of the game.  
  First of all, they replaced many of the weapons of the game, which is 
sure to outrage hardcore fans of the PC version.  Second, the cartridge 
format forced the developers to take out the music due to memory 
constraints, so while there's still music at the main menu, there's none in
the game itself.  Third, the one-player deathmatch feature would have been 
awesome if it weren't for the horribly stupid Artificial Intelligence. 
Sometimes the stupid computer opponents will make you think, "My God, my 
dog is smarter than that!"  Fourth, the developers chose to go with the 
incredibly stupid Turok-style control model as the default (where you move 
around with the directional pad and C buttons instead of the analog 
joystick). Why the heck would you have an analog joystick if you're not 
going to use it to move around in 3D space?  Fortunately, you can adjust 
the controller settings any way you want to fix this problem, but it should
have been set up right from the start. And lastly, it requires a Controller
Pak to save, which is unforgiveable since they could have just added 
battery back-up at little extra cost and you would be able to save it
right to the cartridge. Nintendo 64 owners should stick with Goldeneye.

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