Retailers: Smart or Stupid? Episode V

   It's that time of the year again- Time for me to harass various retail 
establishments by calling them and asking simple questions about video 
games.  The list of retailers I called for Episode V is the same as the 
Episode IV's list: Babbage's, Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, KB Toys, 
Electronics Boutique, and Best Buy.
   Once again, rather than tape-recording these conversations, I did my best
to remember them.  However, I couldn't possibly remember every last word 
that was said, so what follows below is not a word-for-word transcript, but 
a paraphrased account of what was said.

Question #1
   This is something that every video game retailer in the country should 
know by now: When the PlayStation 2 is going to be released (October 26), 
and how much it's going to cost ($300).  I also asked retailers to name a 
couple of the PlayStation 2's launch games.

Babbage's
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
Babbage's: It'll be October 26th, and the price is $299.99.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
Babbage's: Um, they keep changing them.  I know there are a bunch of them 
that are supposed to come out.  Some of them are coming out before the 
system comes out.  There should be like 15, 20 games out when it comes out.
Ivan: Well, I don't really know of any, so could you just name a few?
Babbage's: The sports games, there should be some of those.  I know Ridge 
Racer is coming out.
Ivan: Do you know what kind of sports games, because I usually like those.
Babbage's: Um, I think Madden 2001 is supposed to come out.  EA Sports is 
doing some of them for the launch.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  It took some coaxing before he named more than one 
launch game, but he eventually did.

Toys R Us
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out...
Toys R Us (interrupting): October 23rd... wait, I mean the 26th.
Ivan: Okay, and how much is that going to cost?
Toys R Us: It's going to be 300 dollars.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out...
Toys R Us (interrupting): Um, we have about 10 or 15 games on pre-sale that 
will be out either the day or the day after PlayStation 2 comes out.
Ivan: Well, I don't really know of any, so could you just name a few?
Toys R Us: I don't know 'em by name.  I'd have to go back and look at them. 
Mostly like sports games like Madden 2001... some uh... (long pause)... some
fighting games like Street Fighter X... X... XFST... or something like that.
Mostly like sports games and fighting games. There won't be any role-
playing-games.  They're waiting for Final Fantasy 9.
Ivan: So FF9 will be the first role-playing-game for the PlayStation 2?
Toys R Us: Yeah, they're still trying to decide whether that will be for the
PlayStation 1 or 2, so they don't know yet.
THE VERIDCT: Semi-Smart.  He was able to name a few launch games, but he 
also fed me some misinformation about FF9 (which has been a PlayStation 1 
game all along) and didn't seem to know about the PS2's launch RPG, 
Summoner.  Didn't this guy's mother ever teach him that it's not polite to 
interrupt?

Wal-Mart
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
Wal-Mart: October 26th, and I don't know how much it's going to cost.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
Wal-Mart: Not right off-hand, no I don't.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  Sony must be doing a good job at the retail level if 
even Wal-Mart knows the PS2's launch date, but judging from this 
conversation, that's about all Wal-Mart knows.

K-Mart
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
K-Mart: It's going to cost 300 dollars, and it comes out, I believe in 
January.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
K-Mart: That I really don't know.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  It comes out in January?!?  Has this guy been living 
under a rock for the past year?

Target
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
Target: October 26th, and it's going to be like 300 dollars.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
Target: We only know about one so far: Star Wars.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart.  This person knew the PS2's launch date and price, 
but she wasn't able to name any launch games.  The one game she did allude 
to (Star Wars Episode I: Starfighter) isn't a launch game.  

KB Toys
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
KB Toys: It's going to be October 25, and it will cost 335 dollars.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
KB Toys: Uh, let me go check. (brief hold) Sorry, it's going to come out 
October 26th.  That's the day when the games come out, too.
Ivan: Well, I don't really know of any games that are coming out for it, so 
could you just name a few?
KB Toys: Okay, well there's (brief pause) Dark Cloud, Extermination, 
Fantavision, ESPN International Track & Field, Gran Turismo 2000, Madden NFL
2001, NFL GameDay 2001, Ridge Racer 5, and a bunch more.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart.  He was able to tell me the launch date and price 
($335 is really KB's inflated price), but he was just reading a list of 
launch games, and an outdated list at that.

Electronics Boutique
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
Electronics Boutique: I know both.  October 26th, and $299.99.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
Electronics Boutique: There's Summoner, which is like an RPG.  There's 
X-Squad, which is like a third-person action game.  There's also a driving 
game called Smuggler's Run.  There's Armored Core 2 and Gun Griffon Blaze, 
which are both like mech shooting games, and a lot of other ones.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  Not only did he name several launch games, but he 
described them as well.

Best Buy
Ivan: Do you know when the PlayStation 2 is coming out or how much it's 
going to cost?
Best Buy: It's probably going to be like 199, and it comes out on October 
26th, but we're not taking any pre-orders on it.
Ivan: Do you know of any games that are coming out at the same time as the 
system?
Best Buy: We don't know what's coming out with it, but everything will be 
released on that day if we have it.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart.  I wish you could pick up a PS2 for $199, but you
can't.

   All of the retailers except Best Buy and Wal-Mart knew the PS2's price, 
and all except K-Mart knew the launch date.  The bad news for Sony is that 
the majority of the retailers had no idea what games are going to be 
released alongside the PS2.

Question #2
   This is a simple question with no shades of gray involved- retailers 
either know that The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask exists or they don't.

Babbage's
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
Babbage's: Yes sir, there is.  There's The Legend of Zelda: Mask of... 
forgive me if I say this incorrectly... Majora?  (pronounced correctly)
Ivan: Is that for this year?
Babbage's: Yes sir, it's due on October 27th of this year.  We're taking 
reservations on it already because we expect it to be pretty big, because 
there are lots of people out there that really like Zelda.  All we ask is 
that you come to the store, give us a down payment-- ten bucks.  We'll get 
you on the list, we'll order one for you, and we'll call you when it gets 
here.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  Not only did he get the question right, but he also set
a good example of customer service for the rest of the retailers included in
this feature.  If I were really in the dark about Majora's Mask and not just
asking about it for the sake of this feature, this phone conversation would 
have convinced me to buy it from Babbage's instead of another retailer.

Toys R Us
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
Toys R Us: Haven't heard of any yet.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  Zelda 64 was a huge game that sold millions of copies 
in the US, so you would think that retailers would make it a point to know 
about any Zelda sequels in development. 

Wal-Mart
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
Wal-Mart: I have no clue.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  This guy summed himself up pretty nicely: He has no 
clue.

K-Mart
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
K-Mart: Uh, I don't know of any.  I mean, it's a possibility, but I just... 
I haven't heard of any coming out.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  Will K-Mart ever earn a Smart rating?

Target
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
Target: Um... hold on a second.  (brief hold) We have no release date yet, 
but they are making another one I heard.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  This person didn't know when it was coming out, but you
didn't have to in order to earn a Smart rating for this question.  He did 
know that another Zelda game is in development for the N64, which is more 
than I can say for Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart.

KB Toys
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
KB Toys: I'm not sure about that one.  I haven't heard of any.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  The N64 is a mostly kids-oriented console and KB is a 
mostly kids-oriented retailer.  Does this add up to give KB employees a 
decent level of knowledge about Nintendo products?  Apparently not.

Electronics Boutique
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are 
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
Electronics Boutique: There's one scheduled... let me check the release 
date.  I think it's this fall  (brief hold)  It's set for October 28th.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  He knew right away that there's another Zelda game 
coming to the N64, and he went out of way to check on the release date for 
me.

Best Buy
Ivan: I've been playing Zelda 64 a lot, and I was wondering if there are
going to be any more Zelda games for the N64.
Best Buy: Zelda?  I haven't heard anything on Zelda.  I know they are coming
out with a newer one, but I haven't heard anything on it.  They said it was 
done... there was a, like, an E3 conference, but they never said when.  I do
know that we're not taking pre-sell orders on it right now.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  He gets a Smart rating because he knew for sure that a 
new Zelda game is on the way for the N64, even though he was slightly 
mistaken about it.  He said that it's done, without saying whether he was 
referring to the Japanese version or the American version.  In fact, the 
Japanese version is done and the American version is not.

   From a sales and marketing standpoint, Zelda: Majora's Mask is going to 
be the biggest game of the year for the N64, and one of the biggest for any 
system.  Am I the only person who thinks it's a little sad that only 50% of 
retailers know it exists?

Question #3
   Questions #1 and 2 focused on Sony and Nintendo systems, so I decided to 
make Question #3 focus on Sega's system.  The purpose of this question was 
to see if retailers are aware of the current Dreamcast rebate offer (sign up
for 18 months of SegaNet, get a $150 rebate).

Babbage's
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Babbage's: Sure.  If you get the system and then you sign up with their 
Internet service for 18 months at $21.99 per month, which is the same cost 
as AOL, they will send you a rebate check of 150 dollars.  So essentially, 
you get a Dreamcast for free.
THE VERDICT: Smart.  Not surprising coming from Babbage's.

Toys R Us
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Toys R Us: Um... yeah... um... can you hold on one minute while I go find 
the thing that says about it?  (long hold)  We don't have that paper here 
anymore, but if I remember correctly, if you buy it and send in your mail-in
rebate, you get like 50 dollars back or something like that.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  She was talking about the old Dreamcast rebate program
that expired on August 31; I was talking about the current one that involves
SegaNet.

Wal-Mart
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Wal-Mart: No, I don't know anything about it.  I can't say, because uh... 
(long pause) I'm not yet informed.  Hold on, hold on, someone will talk to 
you about it.  (long hold)  Hello?
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Wal-Mart: No, we don't have anything like that.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  Not one, but two Wal-Mart employees had no idea what 
I was talking about.  Why am I not surprised?

K-Mart
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
K-Mart: A rebate offer for Dreamcast?
Ivan: Yes.
K-Mart: Ummm... yeah, there is.  Let me go check that out for you.  (long 
hold) You still there?
Ivan: Yes.
K-Mart: Um... okay, we marked our Dreamcasts down.  They were $199.99, and 
now they're $149.99.  We did offer a $50 bonus, but that expired on August 
31st.
Ivan: So there's no rebate program running for it right now?
K-Mart: Not right now.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  He knew about the old rebate offer, but not the 
current one.

Target
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Target: Uh... I don't know much about it.  Um... let me see if I can ask 
somebody else.  (brief hold) Hi, can I help you?
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Target: Let me ask someone.  Hold on (brief hold) Hello, how may I help you?
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Target: (he mumbles incoherently for a few seconds, then says) Just a 
minute, let me check on that. (long hold) You had to buy a PlayStation... 
I mean a Dreamcast between June 4th and August 31th.
Ivan: So there's no rebate offer of any kind now?
Target: Not that I know of, no.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  Three different Target employees didn't know about the
SegaNet offer.

KB Toys
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
KB Toys: For that, you have to actually call Sega's customer support line 
and they can set that up for you.
Ivan: What would they be setting up?
KB Toys: Um, basically, it's like you have to call the customer service 
number and then they'll set you up with the Internet and everything like 
that.  And then what they'll they do is they'll like bill... they'll take 
care of like all the bills and things like that, like how to bill you and 
things like that.  And then in the mail they send you... uh, like a rebate 
kind of thing.  And then you basically just send that back to them, they'll 
send... actually no, I think they just send you the money or like a check or
something.  And basically, that... then... you use that to get a Dreamcast 
for like $49.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart.  His knowledge of the rebate offer was vague, and 
he actually used the word "like" ten times.  Still, he had at least some 
knowledge of the offer, so he gets a Semi-Smart rating.

Electronics Boutique
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Electronics Boutique: The only one they have going now is if you sign up for
their online provider, you get so much money back.  They'll tell you all the
information if you decide to go that way when you join up.
Ivan: Do you just have to sign up or do you have to sign up for a long 
period of time?
Electronics Boutique: You have to sign up and then stay on the service for 
so long or you won't get the rebate.
THE VERDICT: Semi-Smart.  He knew about the offer, but didn't know the 
amount of the rebate or the length of time you have to stay with SegaNet.

Best Buy
Ivan: I heard that there's a rebate offer for some kind of Dreamcast 
Internet thing, and I was wondering if you knew anything about that.
Best Buy: There was a sign up here.  I think it's 150 dollars if you buy the
thing someday this month, but I don't really know.
Ivan: Do you just have to buy a Dreamcast to get the 150 dollars from Sega 
or do you have to do something else?
Best Buy: I think you just buy the Dreamcast... I think.  The sign's gone, 
it might be over.  I'm not sure, though.  I think it ends somewhere around 
now.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  You have to sign up for 18 months of SegaNet to get 
Sega's $150 rebate; you don't get the rebate just for buying the system.

   Talk about bad news for Sega: Only one of the eight retailers (Babbage's)
knew that you can get a $150 rebate if you sign up for 18 months of SegaNet.
Meanwhile, three retailers knew about the $50 rebate program that expired on
August 31.  That knowledge doesn't do much good now that the offer has 
expired...

Bonus Question
   This bonus question (which only covers Toys R Us) is free if you sign up 
for 18 months of SegaNet access.  Otherwise, you will be billed $150 for the
right to read this question.

Ivan: I just got a PlayStation with a bunch of games for my birthday, and 
all the games have little letters in the corner of their package, but I 
don't know what the different letters are supposed to mean.
Toys R Us: Oh... you don't have receipt, right?
Ivan: No I don't, I...
Toys R Us (interrupting): It is a gift, all right.  I understand.  Hmm... 
without receipt... and is it opened?
Ivan: Yeah.  I don't want to return it, though.  I just want to know what 
the letters are supposed to mean.  A couple of them say E and a couple 
others say T...
Toys R Us: I'm not really good in that.
THE VERDICT: Stupid.  I have no idea why she thought I was trying to return 
my PlayStation games.  Even after I told her that I didn't want to return 
them and that I just wanted to know what the letters meant, she still didn't
seem to have any idea what I was talking about.  I was trying to find out if
retailers knew anything about the video game industry's ratings system, and 
the answer was no.
 
   Not surprisingly, Babbage's and Electronics Boutique were the only two 
retailers to earn more Smart ratings than Stupid ones, with Babbage's doing
slightly better than EB.  The "smart-to-stupid ratio" was about even for 
Best Buy and surprisingly enough, Target.  On the negative side of the 
scale, KB Toys was dumb, Toys R Us was dumber, and Wal-Mart and K-Mart were 
the dumbest retailers of all.  I've said it before and I'll say it again: 
Wal-Mart and K-Mart would hire a malnourished goat with one good leg and an
attitude problem as long as it could stand upright and fill out an 
application.
   Until next time, all of the retailers out there who are reading this 
should remember that if you can't use the word "like" ten times in a few 
sentences like that charming fellow at KB, you're not really doing your job.

Send your thoughts on this feature to ivan@mastergamer.com

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